Comic

So one night when Jenny and I were bored we thought," Hey Monica Draws Comics, we can too!" Well its just this simplistic thinking that brought us in and then destroyed us once we tried to draw. Well I will confess Jenny got her version of characters down really well, while mine left something to be desired. However, as a testament to Monicas skill I thought I would post as much of the comic that I had finised. Go HERE to compare it to well made comics and let me know what you think.

The Wheels on the Bus.

I once heard a story of a man riding a bus alone at night. Eventually the bus pulled up to a stop with a man standing there waiting. The rider on the bus thought to himself "Jesus I hope he doesn't sit next to me."
The man entered the bus and as it pulled away from the station he started to walk down the aisle. The seated man looked at the new passenger out of the corner of his eye while he entered the bus and then looked out the dark reflective windows as he walked toward him. The man stopped in the aisle right next the seated passenger and said, " Excuse me but I believe Jesus told me to sit next to you."

This story was a lot better the first time I heard it, Sorry.

Well, I hope everyone has been doing well. I have not talked to most of the readers of this blog in ages, but I will trust that everything is going well and that school is coming along nicely.

I had to go get my cars state inspection this last weekend as I had been putting it off for about two months. Driving about with the expired inspection sticker started to wear on my nerves knowing that at any moment the cops would bust me of all people in a sting operation to catch expired inspection drivers. Now it's not like I was not prepared just in case I got pulled over..."I'm sorry officer, I know it is expired but I just got back from an extended business trip and am actually taking it to go get inspected today." If he still doesn’t believe me I simply say, "I know it sounds ridiculous, because it’s true." In any case, I took it to be inspected and the attendant asked if I also wanted it washed, to which I responded in a hell no kind of way. What am I made of money? And then he looked up at this huge sign that said, "Free car wash with state inspection." In that case I do want a car wash, Hell Yeah!
This happened to be one of those car washes where you sit behind this glass and watch your car go along this conveyor belt through the wash. Myself and this father and his little daughter who was probably about 5 were the only ones watching cars. Then when my car goes by the little girl points and says "Look, that’s like Pop pop's car." To which her father nodded and she then said, "It's even white like his."
It was about this point that I grabbed the little girl by her shoulders and said "Grand Marquis and Crown Vics are not for old people, they kick ass. And you know what you still poop in your pants, so HA!"

I didn’t say that to the little girl but instead I paid my bill and walked away, letting the little girl live to insult another day.

Today I went into a stall at the mall to pee, and for the first time ever in a public restroom I found bloody toilet paper still floating in the bowl. One can only ask what on earth was wrong with that person and why did they of all people who use the restrooms, feel compelled to not flush. Needless to say I left the stall without touching anything and proceeded to wash my hands over and over again. I didn’t touch a damn thing and I still felt gross. Ahhh!

Drag Me to Hell, NO! Drag You to Hell.

Ok so I saw another film preview that looks amazing. The film is called Drag Me to Hell and can be seen HERE. This one is by Sam Raimi, whose last movies (all the Spider Man films) were all crap but who got the horror genre so right with his Evil Dead movies. Since this is a return to his horror roots we can hope it will be good.

Lets see Jennifer and I watched the Reader this last weekend. In case you don’t know, that’s the Kate Winslet film she just got her Oscar for. I liked it. (Wow, what a terrible review.) So did you like the film? "I liked it." Ha ha, anyways, its good and something different than say Marley and Me, which we watched two weeks ago. Wow that film sucked balls. Oh don't be fooled, its genetically engineered to make you cry, but its all empty crap tears that are meaningless. The tears this movie from hell extracts from you are not because the film is sad, but because if you have had to put down an animal it reminds you of that experience. You go to hell, you go to hell and you die Marley. Oh wait at the end of the movie he does.

I would end with a funny story, but alas my life has been rather simple recently and has not provided me with anything funny to tell. But if you do want to see something funny go to THIS blog and look at the photo of the skinny boy pretending to run. Ha Ha ...

Where the Wild Things Are

Hello,

Ha! I suppose its been a little while since my last post but the gap was not nearly as long as the one before this. I will confess that I probably would have not written anything again if it was not for two things I must get off my chest. First... you should click HERE and watch the trailer. Wow! this is one of the first movies I have been really really excited about after watching the trailer in a long time. The trailer looks amazing in my opinion and its directed by Spike Jonze. So plz let me know what you think after you watch the trailer.

In other news I must confess that something happened yesterday while I was in the car with Jenny that shocked my delicate sensibilities. My lady and I had just rented a film from blockbuster (yes, I know, we are the last people on earth still renting from there) and then proceeded to pull out into the alleyway behind the store. We moved into the pitch black alley while avoiding the dumpsters and began heading down the dark and frightfully scary road. We were not but about two feet into the alley when I noticed a man sitting against one of the dumpsters. I initially thought nothing of it except that some homeless man must be getting a little rest before he went on his merry way collecting curios. But before I could even finish thinking that, I realized that he was indecently touching his swimsuit area. THEN, I realized that he had his entire thing out just hanging in the breeze. (It was a windy day). I must confess that I was a bit stunned, and thought, well perhaps I could call the cops. But alas I realized that by the time the cops arrived he would probably be gone, but more importantly I realized that it is very hard to hit a bottom much lower than this guy. For it's rare when you find yourself homeless sitting in dirty clothes on the dirty ground next to a dirty dumpster trying to masturbate in the dark and not even being able to achieve an erection.

In any case, Jenny was not really surprised at all, for after the event she simply said: "Well I guess that makes three now that I have seen out in public!"

Old Story Box

Well, hello I have not written anything on this page in ages because I have come to the realization that I don’t have anything of real interest to say. If you were to inquire with my wife she could tell you every story I have ever told her word for word because I have told her every story I have about a dozen times. When I do get new stories I end up telling them to her right away and then they quickly make their way into my box of old stories. My advice then to anyone would to probably know and talk to me for a few consistent weeks and then never speak to me again, this way you could hear everything fun and interesting I would ever say and then be on your way. I suppose that when people stick around after that it is a sign of a true friend. So thank you to all my friends.

I don't really know if I should write anything on a blog or online about this because it just ends up sounding cheap and contrived. However, I suppose I would tell you that I went to my cousins funeral this last Friday. He was only 27 and recently had a child. I suppose it's a bit rough to think about since I have fond memories of several summers I spent in Baton Rouge with him and my uncle’s family. If I had to say one thing about him that I will probably always remember is that he had a very distinct laugh. He and his brother were always very nice to me and its sad to think that he is gone while remembering the time I have shared with him.

In any case, I hope everyone is doing well and I will say that I will continue to try and update this more consistently but alas I am afraid that could be a lie. However, I will try. Adios

Good Day!!

You know its gonna be a good day when you go into the bathroom and begin to pee on the new urinal cake and you think out loud to yourself.... "Wow the new smell is pretty good."

;-)

Oh BTW... I’m going to Taiwan, its no big deal... its a huge deal and I am more then excited, words cannot describe how I feel.

New Post! and its about airplanes!

Ok so recently I went to Corpus Christi for my good friends wedding. My job at the wedding was to help seat old ladies, whom I all had blushing since they got to walk arm and arm with the handsome hunk I am. I have yet to tell my wife, but between you and me, at one time I had to walk two ladies to their seats one on each arm (wink wink). Never mind that their combined age was probably over 160 years old, that just means more experience, if you know what I mean. Oh and I had to walk Jimmy's Grandmother down the aisle, she to couldn’t stop smiling the whole time. I tell you what I think I learned that the product known as Aaron is very popular with the old lady and gay crowd.

Anyways, I am getting off topic because I’m here to tell you about my plane ride home on Sunday. I was not scheduled to leave Corpus until like 5:40PM on Sunday, which would have effectively killed that day seeing as I had no transportation in Corpus and so would have spent the entire day at their tiny ass airport. But... I got to the Airport early to see if I could catch the early flight out of town. I put my hair up all nice and even wore a nice button down shirt to try and impress the airplane lady into helping me get on the plane, which worked. So as I am waiting more and more people are showing up at the gate waiting to board the plane. It should be noted that the plane was totally full and by this time I believe everyone was already waiting to board at the tiny gate. Then this middle aged lady in a matching purple shirt and pants combo (something I could see my mother wearing) walks up and gets out her cell phone. She begins to talk in a thick country accent at FULL VOLUME SO THAT EVERYONE CAN HEAR HER CONVERSATION -- "Hello, (Pause)... yes, yes I made it to the airport just fine. Now don’t forget I'll be flying to Houston, and then on to Oklahoma City. Yep, uhh, that’s right I just wanted to tell you my flight information again. (long pause) ... Now wait, wait, just listen... no, listen to me for a second... Listen, If for any reason any of my airplane flights today should crash, and you know if we should all just crash and burn up and die, I want to do something for me.. (short Pause), No Listen if this flight cashes and I die, DONT BLAME GOD, ok? Just DONT BLAME GOD! Ok I Love you, I Love you so much." Yeah, it’s just that type of conversation that makes everyone on that plane fell good about flying that day.
It’s about this time I start to think, wow that lady is crazy. But I just brush it off at that and nothing more.
Then I get onto the plane and sit down at the very back of the plane where I like to sit. We are three seats wide with me by the window and some other random young professional on the aisle. Then this whole family makes its way to the back of the plane and then all split up to fill out all the remaining seats in the back. The young teenage boy gets a seat next to me. He is wearing a UT hat and so I ask "Do you go to UT?" He responds in a Thick country accent just like the previous lady... "Oh, no Sir, No I live and go to school here is Corpus." He then starts looking about the plane at everything and then turns to me again "This is the very first time I've ever been on a plane, it’s my first plane ride." It’s just about this time that I can’t help but think, wow this plane really is going to crash.
A: I was not even supposed to be on that plane, I caught it so I could get home early
B: Crazy boarding gate lady professing the end of all our lives
C: First Time flyer sitting next to me
The irony of us crashing on his first flight would be just to perfect. I got that feeling like in that movie Final Destination (the 1st one) where the kid thinks the plane is going to crash and gets off right before it takes off and then the plane really does crash. Well, to tell you the truth I didn’t get off the plane and I was fine but I swear I would have been perfect if we really had crashed and burned up died.